Real Life: This Morning

This morning for my Quiet Time, for those of you who are not familiar with the term, I am referring to the time I set aside to spend with Jesus either in prayer or reading/studying from His Word. Anyway, this morning I spent the majority of my Quiet Time crying. Just sitting here at my kitchen table sobbing. So many emotions - fear, anxiety, hopelessness, doubt - were running through my heart. The thoughts running through my mind of course produced the feelings.

Some of my thoughts were:
I can't stop from having angry outbursts with my kids.
I'm know I'm going to get angry today and loose my cool.
I owe my kids a calm, level headed Mother. I am not a calm Mother, I am failing. I am destroying my kids. My kids are going to rebel and run away in their teens.
How is God's grace sufficient when I don't see change, when I don't see any difference between me and people who do not believe in Jesus?
What is my life supposed to look like, how is it supposed to be different when I am experiencing the sufficiency of God's grace?
God's not hearing my prayers, I'm too sinful.
I can't get these thought under control, I have to get them under control.
I know what I'm thinking is not right, O, please forgive me Lord.

My thoughts went on and on and on and so did the tears. I can't remember when I stopped crying or why. But I am here at the end of my day to say that the mixed up prayers of a desperate Mom at 6:30am in the morning were answered all day long today. While I did feel frustration at various levels today, I didn't not give in to a destroying angry outburst with either of my kids. I tangibly felt the Lord's peace today several times and even now I have a sense of hope.

Thank you Lord Jesus for picking me up off the floor, drying my tears, giving me respite, and showing me Victory today. I need You so much. I love You.

Cris

Update on Kali and Tory

Earlier this year, we sadly relocated our beloved dogs Tory and Kali. Here is an update about how they are getting along with their new owners.
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Tori and Kali are doing great! They have just returned from spending a week at our daughter's home with us and the three kids. Our daughter and her husband went to the Dominican Republic on a missions trip so we went down to Warsaw to stay with our grandchildren. Tori and Kali are so tired from all the fun and play they enjoyed with the kids - they are spending this week just sleeping. Our kids live in the woods so there was lots to explore and be interested in. They both did a lot more barking because there were so many strange noises (some of them inside the house!) But they did great and we are all happy to be back home.

I'm sure that Isaac is still missing Kali. She is such a sweetheart. Just so cute! She has shown some spunk though. She sure likes to "wrestle" with Tori. They do that a couple of times a day. She does have a feisty side. And she is such a rascal about stealing the kong from Tori and then going and sitting with it just to spite her. Everyone who has met the girls have said they like Kali best because she is just so sweet.

I did buy them a little swimming pool for the hot days to come. They have been in it a couple of times and of course, Tori likes that the best. Kali just jumps back out.

Gettng it ready.

We are getting so close to having the house ready to put on the market. The walls have been painted, new carpet installed and there is a bit less in the house. I remember why I first fell in love with the house. This weekend we hope to rearrange furniture. Then comes the hard part, all of the little details. Hanging the pictures, putting curtains back up after cleaning, ironing slip covers and putting them on. Finding places for all the little widgets that we use everyday but that people don't want to see when they view your home. Ug! But, WE CAN DO IT!!! Be praying for me friends as "details" are not my strength. Thanks.

He Qualifies!!!

Praise the Lord!! Aaron qualifies for services from the Lake County Health Department for speech therapy. Today we had a team of folks over to assess Aaron's speech, gross and fine motor skills, social skills, cognitive skills and much more. It turns out that Aaron has a 60% developmental delay in his speech abilities which more than qualifies him for services.

Aaron also seems to have some gross motor skill delay so the health department is sending out a physical therapist to evaluate him. The thought is that he may have a small delay with gross motor skills and they want an assessment done to see how much of a delay he has to determine if Aaron will need physical therapy also. The professionals that were here today do not think that Aaron is too far behind in gross motor but they want to double check. Their assumption is that he will not qualify for services, but that the PT will give Andy and I some suggestions that will help Aaron come up to speed in that area. I'll let you know how the assessment turns out.

A New Home for Kali and Tory

Last Saturday we took Kali and Tory to their new home. They are living with Rene (sounds like gene) and her husband Luke in Goshen, Indiana. Westie Rescue of Missouri and our Lord found the girls the perfect home. Rene is a stay at home mother and wife with an empty nest and a full heart for the Lord and his critters. She was wanting some company and found out about our dear girls.

Andy and I thought it would take a long time to find the girls a new home, but it only took a week. Amazing. And their new family loves the Lord also. Awesome.

Tory waiting for us to get on the road - she loves the car!

Friday night the six of us (adults, kids and dogs) piled in the van around 6:30pm and headed out. Not long into our trip we ran into a wall of rain, lightning and thunder. Driving was slow, but we made it through. We got to the hotel in great time despite the rain, no we didn't speed (really, I already have a few tickets to my name and need to watch it).



Sleeping in the hotel was a challenge as Aaron was not ready to go to bed and was not thrilled with the pack and play, but we managed to make it through. Saturday morning we ate at the hotel and headed to Tory and Kali's new home. Rene and Luke were anxiously awaiting our arrival and marveled at the girls from the get go. We broke out the new toys we bought for the dogs and Tory was in heaven as a ball was tossed for her over and over and over. Tory was oblivious to what was going on, but Kali seemed to know something was up and was a bit hesitant. She eventually warmed up to Rene and Luke and sat on their laps and jumped up on a big cushy chair.

When it was time to go, all went surprisingly well and without much drama. I think I was the one choking back more tears than Andy and Isaac. Rene was very generous and gave each boy a gift bag full of fun toys and snacks for their trip.

Here are the girls with their new Mommy, Rene.