Good-Bye

I'm 38 and there are two women whom I would ever call 'best friend.' One woman I've known since I was 8 years old and the other woman I have known for 6 1/2 years. I have shared many firsts, lasts, births, and deaths with these women.

Beverly, my friend of 30 years lives in Washington State. I said good-bye to her when I was 15. It is strange to think that for most of our friendship we have been apart.

Anne, my friend of 6 1/2 years is moving to North Carolina with her fab family to support her husband as they plant a church. I am excited for them. I can see God's hand in almost every aspect of their journey to this point.

But I gotta ask: Who on earth decided to put the word 'good' in front of bye? Hmmm??? While what they are going to IS good, the leaving part really sucks for everyone involved.

So begins the grieving process and the adjustment to a new normal for my relationship with my beloved best friend.

The latest things I'm excited about.

Over the July 4th holiday my husband and I went to an estate sale. Looky what I found!! I am so excited, I only paid $42 for this gem.

Passion?

I went out with some girls tonight and saw the movie "Australia" with Hugh Jackman and Nicole Kidman. I long for dreams, for belief in a cause with that much passion and determination - so much passion that I keep on going through the hardships, against all odds and come out on the other side to blessing.

Should the Christian life be passionate? What should the Christian be passionate about? What if the Christian isn't passionate about "those things," is she still Christian? What if the she is a wimp, gives up and does not persevere? Is there any hope for blessing for her? For me?

My life here, on this earth, is not a happy one. O, don't get me wrong, I do not want for physical things. I have a wonderful husband, I have two amazing boys, a wonderful home, cars, cloths, food, I live in a nice neighborhood, I have great friends, good health, etc. But I am not happy. The only passion I feel is in the area of explosive anger which is usually pointed at my kids.

I am usually frustrated, angry, tired, irritated, bored. I feel shame, regret, hopelessness, defeat, less than, undesirable. Some how my life and what I think the Christian life should be do not show any congruency. I often think, that if by God's grace my boys don't have contempt for me, then they will look back on their mother and see me as a woman tormented - kept away from the woman she wants to be by the woman she really is.

Confounded

So how is it that I feel so hurt, guilty, weighed down and like such a failure after being obedient to God's command to be reconciled to my brother (Matt 5)? I asked for forgiveness from my offense and it was granted in word. Then an onslaught of some truth and other 'stuff' came at me. I'm still trying to sort through it all with the Lord. I want to see the feedback that is true and learn from it, but I want to release myself from the issues of the other.

Of course I will continue to be obedient to the Lord, but after my recent experience in doing so, I really am quite hesitant to examine myself. Can any of you relate? I would love to hear your experiences and how our Lord has lead you through them.

Mealtime Madness

Tonight we had French toast for dinner. Aaron actually ate it, YAY!!!!! I think if I put maple syrup on everything my picky eater will be in full compliance. :o)

Plate licking good!!

Arrrr...I'm a French Toast Pirate!

Ready for some sticky kisses?

It goes without saying that we went from the dinner table directly to the bathtub. What you didn't see was the plate "balanced" on top of Aaron's beautiful head. Of course "balanced" is a joke since it was securely stuck there by the syrup!

Silver and Gold

When I was in Girl Scouts - yes, for 7 years - we sang this song:

"Make new friends, but keep the old. One is Silver and the other's Gold. "

At the time I really didn't know what I was singing, but now I certainly do. I got a brief little email from an old friend. A gal I love dearly, but God has taken our lives in slightly different paths so we don't really get to connect too often. She is Golden, a friendship that has been refined by fire, purified and found to be true and valuable.

Thank you Lord for my Silver and Gold friends.

My Shape

I have to tell you about www.myshape.com. I LOVE this website.

Set up an account, answer some style preference questions and enter in all of your measurements - yea, i know, who wants to see those numbers, but trust me it is worth it - then, MAGIC! You have clothing suggestions fitted just to your size and your body shape.

MyShape has categorized bodies into 7 different shapes and has ShapeMatchTM that makes suggestions for your own personalized shop based not only on your measurements but also those style questions you answered in your account set up. Thus far i have ordered two outfits and 1 dress and have felt like a million bucks in each. I have gotten so many compliments from friends and acquaintances when they've seen me in my MyShape outfits.

Warning: Some of the prices of the designers they feature are really expensive, but once you see the examples of items that fit and flatter you, then you are empowered to go to your local treasure hunting grounds and shop till you drop.